then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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