Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
