To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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