You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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