so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
