No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
