hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
