i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
