At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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