I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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