hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
why does every cop we meet know your name?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
