That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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