why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
