I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
