The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
