guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
