Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
