You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
