the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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