went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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