i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
