Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
