I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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