Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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