when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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