Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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