Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
