considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The air was thick with penises
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
