OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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