the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
