I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
