He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
