She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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