It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
