In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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