and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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