Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
