I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Sorry about my life...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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