Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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