How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
