I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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