Non-Jews are for practice
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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