At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize