hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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