is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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