id be glad to
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
