I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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