...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
