while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize