The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
