You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
