I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
