how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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