Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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